i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
