Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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