I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
