Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Randomize
