Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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