Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
