garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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