I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize