Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
