He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
