i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
