He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
