What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
