I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
