we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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