god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
