you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
