I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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