whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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