It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
