WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
