just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
