Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
