Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
