He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
