ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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