I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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