I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
