I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
