week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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