i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
