Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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