you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
