"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
