I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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