Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize