Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
