You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
