I heard we made out
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize