Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
