I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
