It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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