Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
