No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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