shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
