I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
