we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize