How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
