I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I love you.
Bad choice
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