The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
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