Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I CAN MOONWALK!
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
