i think my tv is drunk
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The air was thick with penises
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
