I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
