I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
