I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
