Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize