What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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