I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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