Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
