So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
