did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
