I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Operation Purity has been aborted
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize