When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
