apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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