ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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