i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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