She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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