I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
