Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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