fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
