he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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