so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
