Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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